What do you see in the stars?
by shiny kittens
Summary: A simple question reveals how truly broken Breezepelt really is. Post-The Last Hope


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Heathertail watched as the light of the stars danced on the lake.

A soft breeze was blowing by, ruffling her fur and carrying the scent of newleaf with it.

Heathertail couldn't believe that it had been only three moons since the long grass and heather of her territory had been drenched in blood and darkness.

The battle with the Dark Forrest had been one of the most gruesome the clans had ever seen.

Soft pawsteps approached her from behind and the cat settled next to her.

"Breezepelt." she greeted him.

The black tom had been different since the battle, more quiet and withdrawn, only speaking when spoken to and keeping mostly to the shadows and outskirts of camp.

It was no wonder considering almost all of his clan saw him as a traitor.

Almost all of them.

But not Heathertail.

The she-cat sighed and looked up into the sky, trying to determine which of the stars were the clanmates lost in the battle, but it was impossible.

The glittering light all looked the same there was no way to tell which of those lights were cats she knew.

 _Is there a way to distinguish one soul from another? Or are we all the same in death?_

"What do you see when you look at the stars?"

Breezepelts quiet voice startled her, it was barely louder than a whisper.

He wasn't looking at her, his gaze was turned upwards, his expression contemplative.

Heathertail looked at him, soft blue eyes scanning his slightly hunched form.

"Our ancestors." she answered promptly.

The she-cat cocked her head to the side.

"What do you see?"

"The same thing I see in the eyes of my clanmates. Contempt."

For a moment her heart clenched in pity but she pushed the feeling away, knowing that it wouldn't change a thing.

"And what do you see in my eyes?" ,her voice was gentle.

To her surprise he didn't meet her gaze, on the contrary, he lowered his head and turned away.

"I don't look into your eyes."

She swallowed thickly at that.

"Why?"

"Because it hurts..."

"Why..?" she repeated herself, voice wavering slightly.

His head snapped around and for a heartbeat he glanced into her eyes- her warm, gentle, _kind_ eyes- before he quickly looked away again.

"Because I don't deserve the way you look at me." his voice was soft and tired, oh so _tired._

"But you do."

The she-cat breathed, stepping closer.

He shook his head, some of his old stubbornness shining through the cracks of his broken self.

"I don't. Not after what I have done."

"Breezepelt... you were afraid. All the cats who trained with the Dark Forest were. That's no excuse for how the clan is treating you, and _only_ you!"

Heathertail said, dismay tearing at her heart and soul.

"They turned back and fought for their clan. I was too much of a coward to stand up for them. I deserve every ounce of hatred they feel for me."

His paws were kneading the ground, claws extending and ripping at the delicate strands of grass.

"Breezepelt..."

"But that's not the worst I did! I'm more than a coward, a traitor! I'm a- I'm a murderer!"

The warrior cried out, his voice trembling and gaze haunted.

Heathertail furrowed her brow in confusion.

As far as she knew the tom hadn't killed anyone, yes he had fought with the Dark Forest, but he had only injured, not killed.

"Who did you kill?"

Her voice was weak.

She was afraid of the answer.

"Hollyleaf." he choked out.

The she-cats eyes widened.

"But she was killed by Hawkfrost!"

"You don't understand! I-I was _there,_ I saw her defending Ivypool and I saw her getting injured and for a moment I felt _satisfaction!_ I thought she deserved it for everything she did to me, when in reality she has done nothing wrong and I should've gone and helped her and Ivypool fend them off, but instead I left her to die. My own _sister!"_

Heathertails breath hitched, it was the first time Breezepelt had acknowledged any of his half-siblings as his kin.

" Did you strike the killing blow? No, you did not. Your inactivity was not the cause of her death. It was a wound Hawkfrost had caused her, not you."

She was calm, but also firm.

"I-"

"No. Is it Ivypools fault she died? Or Windclans?"

"What?"

She looked at him seriously.

"They were in Windclans camp. Ivypool could've just helped her to Kestrelflights den, instead she dragged a heavily bleeding she-cat all the way to Thunderclan. And none of the Windclan warriors who were here thought to point that little fact out to her. So, you were not the only one who saw and did nothing."

Breezepelt stared at her, eyes wide and shocked.

"Why? Why are you so vehement about this? Why won't you just leave and turn your back on me like everyone else does?!"

There were actual tears pooling in his amber eyes now.

Feeling her own eyes fill with tears she moved forward and pressed her head against his chest.

"Because I will never abandon you! I will _never_ let you drown in the hatred of the others and I will _never_ let you succumb to your own guilt!"

They stayed like that for a while, both cats trembling with emotion.

A soft breeze ruffled their furs, carrying the scent of newleaf with it.

And the lights of Starclan danced on the lake.

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End file.
